Kai的搬运工

Foolish （1）

I got an idea and wrote a thing over the course of a few days that started out trying to take the Cross x Dream comic’s plot and make a Dreamswap version of it, minus the pairing.

Originally I was trying to prove what a hilarious disaster it would be if that same concept happened in Dreamswap (even without the pairing) but then it shifted into something else entirely and actually turned out KINDA GOOD??

Like. I’m pretty proud of this dumb thing.

Original character creators:

Dream and Nightmare -> @jokublog​

Cross -> @jakei95​

Error -> @loverofpiggies​

Ink -> @comyet​

Also, since I haven’t had a chance to mention it, DS!Nightmare’s staff is actually more of a weapon than original Dream’s. The crescent moons are sharp; on one end, it’s double-sided, and on the other, the outside is dull so he can dramatically stand there with his hands on it.

-------------------

Cross: Nightmare, help me the frick out.

Nightmare: Ugh, what now?

Cross: Help me help Ink realize that he’s an idiot.

Nightmare: Well, brutal honesty and harsh criticism are what I do best.

(SCENE TRANSITION)

Nightmare: HEY YOU!

Ink: Oh look! It’s the only individual shorter than me!

Nightmare: You wanna go, punk?

Ink: Can I help you with something?

Nightmare: Cross wanted me to tell you you’re stupid.

Ink: I’m sure he did. Anything else?

(Nightmare takes out a piece of paper that Cross gave him about things to possibly say and what to not say and studies it. He groans, shakes his head, tears the paper in half twice and throws the pieces behind him.)

Nightmare: Also you’re a self-concerned prick who abandoned your best friend because it was convenient and I have no idea why I’m trying to get you to change your mind because people like you are unbelievably intolerable and I’m surprised that you even had a single friend and I can say with damn surety that I’m glad I took your place as Cross’s best friend because he deserves better than you.

Ink: Whoa.

Ink: Gotta hand it to you, pal, you really are talented at this sort of thing.

Ink: Unfortunately–

(Dream appears out of no where.)

Dream: Time’s up, Ink–

(He pauses when he sees Nightmare.)

Dream: Well. What a surprise.

Nightmare: oh COME ON

Nightmare: WE’LL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS LATER

Nightmare: THAT IS IF I DECIDE TO ACTUALLY GIVE A CRAP

Dream: WHAT–TALK ABOUT WHAT

(Nightmare teleports away.)

Dream: (turns to Ink) WHAT

Ink: Geez boss, calm down.

Ink: All he did was try to roast me a little. Why? I dunno.

Ink: Probably tryin to get me to join his ‘side’ or whatevs.

Dream: You better not even consider it.

Ink: What reason do I have to?

(WHOOPS, BAD END)

(LET’S TRY THIS AGAIN)

Dream: Well. What a surprise.

Nightmare: oh COME ON


Nightmare: WE’LL TALK MORE BOUT THIS LA–

(Dream closes his hand in a claw-like way, and Nightmare finds himself bound in light powers.)

Nightmare: s#%t

Dream: Talk about WHAT, Nightmare?

(Dream tightens his magical grip.)

Ink: Boss. Chill.

Ink: He was just trying to roast me a little for some reason.

Ink: I mean, the result was pretty admirable, but entirely ineffective.

Nightmare: LET ME THE FRICK GO!!

Dream: As if.

Dream: Ink, go hold onto him while we teleport.

Ink: (sigh) On it, boss.

(Ink summons his brush, but right in the very split second between Nightmare not being restrained and Ink almost restraining him again, Nightmare pulls out his staff and holds it up right next to Ink’s neck.)

Nightmare: NOBODY MOVE.

Ink: … Really?

(Dream rolls his eyes.)

(BUT IT WAS ONLY A DISTRACTION. Nightmare grabs Ink’s scarf and teleports away with him!)

Dream: UM EXCUSE ME

(scene transition)

Nightmare: Another successful evasion!

Ink: Why did you bring me with you.

Ink: You realize Dream basically knows where I am all the time right–

Nightmare: A DISTRACTION.

(Nightmare almost teleports away again, but Ink grabs his cape and teleports with him. They end up in Outertale.)


Nightmare: I KNEW YOU WOULD DO THAT.

Nightmare: Precisely why I didn’t teleport to my house! Like heck I’m gonna reveal where I live to the likes of YOU!

Nightmare: BUT LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS WAS ALL A TRAP!

(Nightmare presses a button he pulled out of his pocket and Cross and Error leap out of the bushes(???) and restrain Ink. Why exactly Nightmare pressed the button… it was probably for dramatic effect.)

Ink: Uh? Remember that thing I said about Dream always knowing where I am?

(Error pulls the tracker off Ink’s inner scarf, throws it onto the ground and smashes it with his foot.)

Ink: Wha–THERE WAS A FRICKING TRACKER

Error: Not anymore.

Ink: HE TOLD ME HE ALWAYS KNEW WHERE I WAS BECAUSE I’M A UNIQUE ENTITY

Nightmare: He makes up a lot of things, doesn’t he.

Nightmare: Come on guys! Dream will probably show up anyway, we gotta run!

Ink: As always.

(Nightmare grabs Ink’s scarf and pulls him down to eye level.)

Nightmare: You better watch yourself, buddy. You can’t run back to my brother anymore.

Ink: Actually, I can very easily do that, but you can go ahead and keep believing that.

Nightmare: Tch. (lets go of Ink) What the hell, Cross? Why are we doing this again?

Cross: This was your idea. I just told you to go talk some sense into him and now we’re abducting him.

Nightmare: WELL YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE GOING TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO HIM BECAUSE HE’S A SARCASTIC DOUCHE.

Nightmare: TO THE FEAR CAVE!

(They teleport and appear in a small, dark room that looks like it’s somewhere in an AU’s Waterfall.)

Error: Uh, Nightmare? This isn’t the fear cave.

Nightmare: THIS IS FEAR CAVE 2! KNOW YOUR FEAR CAVES!

Cross: We have more than one?

(Nightmare makes an incredibly memey irritated face.)

Cross: … point taken.

Nightmare: All right! Cross, cut down on his layers so he can’t hide any weapons!

Cross: Dude, he can summon his weapon–

Nightmare: DON’T ARGUE WITH ME!

Nightmare: Error, tie him up!

(After Cross takes of Ink’s coat and scarf, Error sighs and ties Ink up in blue strings.)

Ink: I can’t express enough how unnecessary this is.

Ink: You’re wasting your time, folks.

Cross: Hey Nightmare, where even are we?

Nightmare: Cross. We talked about this.

Cross: … no we didn’t?

Nightmare: I’M NOT GOING TO REVEAL CLASSIFIED INFORMATION IN FRONT OF THE PRISONER!

Nightmare: ALL RIGHT, PUNK!

(Nightmare aggressively pushes Ink to the ground. Cross frowns, but Nightmare was right earlier–Ink is kind of a sarcastic douche, so he had it coming.)

Nightmare: I bet you’re wondering why you’re here!

Ink: Uh. Yeah. Very much so.

Nightmare: Well, today–

(Nightmare sits down cross-legged in front of Ink and claps his hands.)

Nightmare: We’re going to talk about the nature of the things that are.

Ink: Oh boy…

(Nightmare stands back up and pulls a chalkboard out of the corner. He draws a crude circle-triangle character on the board.)

Nightmare: This is you.

(He gives his drawing an angry face, floof and a cape scarf.)

(He draws another character to the right of his masterful drawing of Ink with a happy face, a scarf and a facial scar.)

Nightmare: This is Cross.

(He proceeds to draw two more characters, one on the far left and one on the far right. The far-left character is given wings, an evil face and a circlet.)

Nightmare: This is Dream.

(He draws a cape and circlet on the far-right character and gives it bishounen eyes.)

Nightmare: This is me. Don’t ask why I’m there, I’m just important.

Ink: What is this, bad cartooning class?

Nightmare: Error.

(Error pulls tighter on the strings binding Ink.)

Ink: Ow! Frick! Stop!

Nightmare: You– (slams chalk on drawing of Ink) –did something dumb.

Nightmare: But why, you may ask? Why was it dumb?

Nightmare: Not only did you betray your only friend…

(Nightmare erases the happy face on Cross and replaces it with a sad face.)

Nightmare: But you did it–based on what I heard from Cross–without a second thought.

(He replaces the angry face on Ink with an evil face like Dream’s.)

Nightmare: But why would you do such a thing? WHY?

(He gets right up in Ink’s face.)

Nightmare: I’ll tell you why.

Ink: I don’t need you to tell me why I decided to do something–

(Nightmare snaps his fingers and Error tightens the strings again.)

Ink: OW! STOP DOING THAT!

Nightmare: Something that my brother does not tell people when he’s enticing them into joining his organization, or in the very least support him…

(Nightmare puts down the white chalk and picks up yellow chalk. He draws short lines around the drawing of his brother, as if to make him look like he’s glowing.)

Nightmare: Dream emits an aura of positivity, or as I like to call it, the aura of manipulation.

Nightmare: He waltzes on up to people and his mere presence has an effect on them!

(He draws a very smug-looking face on his Dream picture.)

Nightmare: And…

(Nightmare draws a heart above Cross, apples above himself and Dream, and an X above Ink.)

Nightmare: … since you literally don’t have any type of soul, the amount that you’re impacted by his presence is multiplied, therefore resulting in your foolish decision of abandoning Cross and joining my brother.

(He erases his pictures of Ink and redraws it on the left side of Dream. He then draws a “D:” face on Cross.)

Nightmare: Regardless of what Dream is attempting to achieve, regardless of how much he lies to you, regardless of the fact that he plants restrictions on you… you wanted you join him because he makes you feel like you have a soul.

(Nightmare draws an upside-down heart with the yellow chalk above his drawing of Ink, and the real Ink sits there, seemingly unable to find words.)

Ink: …

Ink: … how can you be so sure?

Ink: How would you even know that?

Ink: And what do you mean, he lies to me?!

Ink: Yeah, he might’ve lied about the tracker, but I can understand that!


Ink: And I know for a fact that he can hunt people down based on their feelings!

Ink: And what was that about him planting restrictions?!

(Ink somehow stands and storms up to Nightmare.)


Ink: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!

Ink: HE HAS NO CONTROL OVER ME THAT I HAVEN’T GIVEN HIM!

Nightmare: …

Nightmare: That you haven’t given him, huh?

Nightmare: Just how much is that?

Ink: SHUT UP!

(Ink tries to lift his leg to kick Nightmare, but Error pulls him off balance and catches him by his shoulders while he’s falling.)

Error: Don’t kick him, please.

Ink: The hell–you just f#@king pull me over to catch me? WHO DOES THAT?!

Error: Geez, language…

(Ink fiercely struggles against the strings restraining his arms, but Error just pulls tighter.)

Error: We’re not trying to hurt you. Why are you being so violent?

Ink: YOU’RE HURTING ME RIGHT NOW!

Error: That’s because you’re forcing me to.

(Ink growls and tries to kick at Error’s legs, but only ends up tripping both of them in the process. They end up flat on the ground, Error lying on Ink, who’s still struggling to escape.)

Error: Guys? Can we maybe resolve this?

Nightmare: Yeah, because Ink is clearly missing a very crucial point.

(Error gets off Ink and brushes himself off, afterwards Nightmare grabs the front of Ink’s shirt and pulls him up to a kneeling position.)

Nightmare: Haven’t you noticed something odd?

Ink: What are you even talking about?

(Nightmare smirks.)

Nightmare: Interesting…

(Ink’s pupils shrink in confusion at Nightmare’s unexpected reaction.)

Nightmare: You didn’t even notice me exerting negative aura on you.

Nightmare: You really don’t recognize these things, do you?

Ink: Wha–

Ink: What do you mean?!

Nightmare: Didn’t you feel it?

Nightmare: You’d think that if you hardly ever feel, it would be obvious when you suddenly do. The way you lashed out just now–that was because of me.

Nightmare: Come on. We just had that whole discussion about my brother emitting positivity aura, and it didn’t even occur to you that I, his ‘destiny twin’, have the opposite power?

Ink: … tch. What’s your point?

Nightmare: What’s my point, now?

Nightmare: What I’m saying is that… you, despite being soulless…

Nightmare: You’re incredibly easy to control.

(Ink lowers his head and looks up darkly at Nightmare. Nightmare’s expression, however, remains nonchalant.)

Nightmare: Ah… the truth hurts, doesn’t it. But! It’s still the truth, Ink.

Nightmare: And you can decide to either do something about it, or avoid it for the rest of your life. Pretend it’s just inconsequential, will you? Or are you going to change?

Nightmare: Well. That’s up to you.

(Nightmare lets go of Ink, waves his hand to Error, who hesitantly removes the restraints.)

Ink: … What? You’re just gonna let me go?

Nightmare: Why not? It’s not like I have any more reason to keep you here.

Nightmare: Come on, guys. Let’s get out of here.

(Nightmare teleports away with Cross and Error, leaving Ink alone in the cave.)

Ink: …

(He smiles sarcastically.)

Ink: Damn you, Nightmare…

(Epilogue??)

Nightmare: … Uh… Cross? Are you okay?

Cross: ……………

Cross: … dude.

Cross: I get kinda turned on when you go into badass mode.

Nightmare: (turns away awkwardly) Hohhhh dear…